I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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