I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize