He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
