So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
