We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
