So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
