just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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