Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
