why didn't you poke me back
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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