WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Everclear isn't food dammit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
