It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
