you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize