can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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