I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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