I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
