You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
