My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
