hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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