physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
