I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
