My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
