you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
