Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
