we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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