I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
