so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
