Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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