dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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