Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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