I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
