Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
