Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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