I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
