It's Friday. Sex?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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