: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
