Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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