she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
