the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
how does that bad decision feel?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
