I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
