So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
