Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
