i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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