Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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