I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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