LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
