is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
