Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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