Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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