No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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