Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
