she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
