All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I touched a dick in church today
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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