i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
