I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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