There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
