The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You are the jesus of drinking
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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