She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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