Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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