Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
