Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
