Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
