I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
