I wish my penis had an off switch
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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