So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
