hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your cock deserves a montage
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
