I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
