Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry about my life...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
