I wish i was in the wii world.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
