that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
