can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
