Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
