I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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