I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
