Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
