Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
