Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
