Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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