Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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