I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
