You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
