I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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