I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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