Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
