Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
