Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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