around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
