You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The air was thick with penises
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize