ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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