Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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