does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
