Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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