Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize