I will die if light touches me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
soo... how was my night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
