When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
